i want to talk to you.

i feel funny today. i think this is the way i am supposed to feel all of the time. things don't always work out as they should, and a stone will always be a stone. this is why i'm not worried about you.

i liken myself to a hot air balloon. it's secondary transportation; most of the time it's just bullshit.

people make me feel this way. it's not their fault. it's what's expected.

other people, far away people that don't even know my name, that's where truth lies. their words cut me open and expose me and for the first time in quite a while, i feel sane and calm. stripped of all my bullshit facades and masks that i wear to protect myself from the geographical "closeness" of my life.

i feel myself and i feel happy today. this is why i'm not worried about me.

it's been a long time coming.

you are my livelihood. you are the dream. blink and you'll get it. no one else ever will.

bottle this feeling and sell it to me. i'll be happy and you'll be rich. i think it's already happened, but i don't feel scammed.

i'm so blissfully content that i can't bring myself to give a fuck about my shitty, chaotic life. about what people think of me. about what i should think about other people. i care about those that care about me, and anyone that reads this blog probably doesn't even fall into that category. i am a secondary character in your life, but not in theirs.

can you even name my favourite song? my lucky number? my birthdate?

people far away, standing on the glass pedestal, they care, regardless of what they say. you say they don't, but they do. more than you do, at least.

megan, i'm telling you. right now, you're an island. everyone's an island. you'll grow and join the mainland eventually, but for now, all you need is a laugh track.

a laugh track and a soundtrack. emphasis on the latter.

fuck the peter pan complex. get me the fuck out of here. let me grow up, let me live, let me die. life's an arithmetic sequence, then you die.

lets go go go go.