Drown.

I’m no professional but
I think they were right when they said
“youth don’t feel loneliness”
Except maybe they weren’t.
Maybe we just taste it differently
Like infinite hydrogen clouds
With no pattern or rhyme scheme
Blissed out on thousands of unknown chemicals.

Or maybe your feelings were broken
Smashed like the tears of a giant
Freezing midair and falling to the ground,
Like flawless snowflakes,
Blanketing your shiny button eyes and glossy wooden finish
And your neighbours’ potted petunias.

Just like when we sat on your roof and contemplated
Ourselves,
Exploding in slow motion like the worst action movie of all time.
And then you told me that 27 was a good expiration date
Because after that, it’s about how you’re going to feel when you die
And not about the radio,
Or kids in Africa,
Or getting an 82 in chemistry class,
And how selfish could you be?

I still don’t know how right you were.
I suppose there’s a bit of truth in everything,
We only have to worry when it hides behind a lie
I guess.
Remember opposite day?

And then
You kissed me,
Crushed under a pile of frozen tears
Shaped like hail
And a blanket of gin and tonic
Because you’re debonair like that.

But in the end,
You didn’t tell me
How lonely I made you feel.