my head spins so quickly i see stars before my eyes.

My eyes are thick and clouded with my tears and your liquor
20/20 vision, shot to hell with just one shot glass.


//


I need my prescription checked


//


‘cause my face just hit the floor
You’re just not the quick-fix drug that I’m looking for

//


You hold your breath, hoping self-salvation may come around

//

And it seems
This case of writer’s block has got me back in time
With myself
But I still can’t seem to pen a line

//


You call it an obsession
A disease, incurable but for a stone thrown at a glass heart in the vain hope that it will shatter.
To be completely honest, my desperation barely manages to hold its’ own anymore.
The paper bag filled; water with acidic overtones

//


Why?
The unholy bible lost its’ sex appeal to Hollywood.
Your front gate lost its’ curb appeal to the rain.
The innocent boy - the one in the wrong place at the right time, the one we read about – lost his court appeal to the crown prosecuter.
The world is dead, but I am not.
That’s why.

//


Hand over heart, you think to yourself
Bitter taste in your mouth and a storm in your chest,
“I am going to die.”
Be honest, you’re nowhere near.
You just took one too many Aspirin with breakfast this morning.
But just so you know
Whenever you want to, you can just disappear.
Make it effortless.
Make it scandalous.
Make it rip a new hole in the side of your head.
(to let the breeze in, of course)
Make it burn my heart with a branding iron.

Maybe then, and only then, could I try to forget it all.

//


Keep a secret, keep it safe
Maybe then I’ll go unscathed
Keep a rhythm, keep in time
Then I’ll know what’s yours and mine

Just so you know: this was never about you.

-XO